EP. 62- ‘Emotional Courage & IQ’ Why it’s REQUIRED to PERMANENTLY END your weight struggle.

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Hi gorgeous! Happy Monday, and if you are a mom, happy belated Mothers Day! I’m the oldest of five children, and I love my mom so much. She gave me the most precious gifts in my life: my life and my siblings. Today I’m going to be sharing a story with you that is very personal to me, and it’s currently happening in my life. I’m not necessarily excited to share this story, but I am committed and passionate about taking the strategies and tools that have equipped me to live my life in this way. I’m able to manage and navigate the human experience because of these strategies and tools, and in being able to share them with you, I am very excited. Part of my mission on The Last 10 Podcast is to share the ways that you can be human and still transform your life in an amazing way.

Why Willpower and Deprivation Don’t Work

A lot of us already know that willpower, dietary restrictions and deprivations do not work. This podcast is about changing your relationship with food, with yourself, and with life. A lot of what I teach my clients, which most of us don’t know how to do, is how to process and allow emotions into our lives in a healthy way. Because we don’t have this skill, we eat. We eat to manage our frustrations, our sorrows, and our stresses. We eat to disconnect from the things we don’t want to process.

Any time you ever eat off plan, it is because you are not allowing, processing or managing your emotions. That is a powerful statement, but I stand by it.

Emotional Courage & Emotional IQ

Today I’m sharing with you this difficult and emotional story to show you, the listener, how I’ve created permanent change in my life that allows me to experience life deliberately and positively through emotional courage and emotional IQ. It’s crucial that we allow ourselves to experience the full range of emotions that define the human experience.

While you listen to this story, I want you to think about how often you eat to dull your feelings at the end of a tough day or tough week. Every time you disconnect from your feelings with food, you don’t allow yourself the opportunity to practice and develop emotional courage and IQ.

The Story:

If you remember way back in Episode 56: Constipation & Gut health. The steps to optimized digestion for weight loss & clear skin, I started off the podcast talking about how I had unbearable cramps because I was about to start my period, but I was recording the podcast anyway because I’m committed to you and your weight loss journey. Well, it turns out that those weren’t menstrual cramps! I didn’t find out until April 24th just exactly what was going on. I’m smiling just telling you this.

I was having intense PMS symptoms. Cramps, back pain, my breasts were super sensitive, I was having the same symptoms I get when I’m about to start my period, but much more intense.

That’s Not My Period!

I took a pregnancy test. It came up negative. I took another one. Negative. I ended up taking four pregnancy tests. All negative. I was convinced it was the worst period ever. I decided April 24th to take one last pregnancy test because as I shared with a friend of mine a story that involves a suggestion regarding dog training and a lot of tears (I know, how silly!), and she said I sounded like I was hormonal. I was convinced I wasn’t pregnant, but I took the test anyway. A positive test! I was euphoric! We’ve been trying since last year to conceive. I wanted so badly to be a mom, and it was finally happening!

The Joy of Prospective Motherhood

For the next four weeks, I had total baby brain. Every night I couldn’t sleep because I felt the baby growing. My tummy started to grow. I gained a few pounds, but there was so much joy in my life.

I ordered a onesie to surprise my mom and dad that said, “Hi Grandma & Grandpa! I can’t wait to meet you! Coming December 2018.” They cried, I cried, we told my siblings and my husband’s immediate family. I didn’t tell everyone, because there’s always that chance that something could go wrong.

A Trip to the OBGYN

Fast forward to last Thursday, May 3rd. I was having a little bit of pain, and I had a feeling that I needed to go see my OBGYN before my first scheduled appointment. Friday, May 4th, I got in. My husband wasn’t able to go because the appointment came on such short notice. They did the ultrasound, and there was the baby. It was six months and two days old. I could see the heartbeat. It was amazing! It was such a gift to have that moment with my baby.

My Emotional Moment…

Saturday, I started having some bleeding and cramping. It got worse through the weekend so I made an appointment for Monday morning. That day I was having the worst pain! I went to the OBGYN’s office, and they confirmed my biggest fear. I had miscarried. I cried, my husband cried. This was the hardest moment I’ve had in years. The old me would have buffered; she would’ve numbed the pain with food. Not this me. The changes I’ve made in my life have empowered me to feel. I was allowed to feel the joy, but I also had to be open to letting in the feelings of sorrow and grief.

… and How I Managed Those Emotions

One of the things I teach here on the podcast is that we get to decide how we think and feel about things. We get to allow ourselves to feel the full spectrum of emotions deliberately. Feelings are a part of living. When we let ourselves experience life, we don’t need food to disconnect us from the negative emotions we’re feeling. If we allow ourselves to feel the sadness of huge disappointments like losing a baby, we can then begin to manage those emotions. We don’t need to buffer. We don’t become the victim. We choose to allow ourselves to feel and manage the way we think about and react to our feelings.

This was such an eye-opening experience. I am so thankful that I was able to experience that connection to my baby. Now having gone through having a miscarriage, I feel a deeper connection to so many more women who have been through the same thing. Was it easy to get through this? Absolutely not. I reached out to my mentor. I got support. It was difficult, but today I am a stronger and more powerful woman.

When you experience those big emotional moments in your life, get help. Get the support you need to get through them and allow yourself to feel negative emotions productively and deliberately.

Thank you for allowing me to share my journey with you. It’s an honor. I am so thankful that I have developed these tools and skills, and I am committed to sharing them with you so you can create the future you deserve.

Have a wonderful week, and I’ll see you next Monday. If you want to reach out, if my story tugged at your heartstrings, send me an email. I’d love to chat.

XOXO,
Brenda

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