EP. 33- #AskBrenda: How do I know which weight loss approach is the right one for me? What about Fruit?

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This is a new kind of podcast episode and YouTube video I’m going to be doing every week. I’m taking a live listener call, coaching, answering your questions and addressing your biggest challenges. I am sharing empowering information and strategies, and really just serving you in a powerful way to create transformation, shift your beliefs and address how limiting beliefs are keeping you stuck.

The first guest on #askBrendaL is Nicky from Eugene, Oregon. She keeps getting stuck in her weight loss and sabotaging herself. Nicky starts with a plan, has success for a few weeks and then will either eat something she wasn’t planning on and decide the plan is done, or she swaps strategies and is continually starting a new plan and not sticking to one long enough to get results. She says she is always questioning everything she’s doing and looking for other answers. She wants ‘the best way’ and has a lot of anxiety, overwhelm and doubt.

Nicky’s goal weight is 120 pounds, so she has 10-12 pounds to lose. The most recent strategy she has tried is the no sugar and no flour diet where she lost 4 pounds in 2 weeks. I point out that she was literally a third of the way to her goal, and then the doubt crept back in and she sabotaged herself.

That’s why awareness is the most important first step. First Nicky felt excited and proud for losing 4 pounds, but then the doubt crept back in.

Doubt is going to happen

The secret weapon is being able to identify when you’re feeling down. Nothing I can say will make doubt go away forever or make you feel 100% confident 100% of the time.

It sounds like this is a pattern for Nicky of never being able to lose all the weight she wants to, so the doubt creeps in and then she sabotages herself. Especially when you’re setting a goal of something you haven’t been able to achieve before, it doesn’t matter which strategy you pick, doubt will happen because it’s new, you’ve never done this before.

They’re all great strategies

There are plenty of strategies to get to a certain level or reach a goal, and that includes weight loss. They’re all great strategies, just different.

Let’s say there’s three strategies, A B and C. If I pick strategy A and I do it for two weeks, I’m starting to get results and it’s working great. And then I think, “Oh, I don’t know. Strategy B is starting to look really good right now.” So I stop with strategy A and I go to strategy B.

What that does is create more anxiety and overwhelm for yourself, and decrease your progress because you’re starting over. It also proves to yourself that strategy A didn’t work and you were correct in feeling doubt.

But that’s not actually true! We prove whatever we’re thinking because that’s what we look for. Strategy A didn’t worked because you stopped doing it, not because it didn’t work. If you swap from Strategy B to Strategy C after 2 weeks, you’d encounter the same problem.

So many people do this. Instead of committing and staying with something and sticking with it all the way through, they switch strategy. What is more important than the strategy is the commitment.

When doubt creeps in, choose to feel committed. You can acknowledge the doubt and say, “Okay, of course I’m feeling doubtful, afraid and overwhelmed. This is not easy and I’ve never done this before. But I’m going to keep committed, keep taking action and keep following the plan.”

What you look for, you’ll find

One problem Nicky says she has is that she worries about the perfect way to eat, even though she knows there probably isn’t a perfect strategy. It’s like the grass is always greener.

It doesn’t matter what strategy you pick, because you can always find something to be critical of. Focusing on what sucks and is hard about that strategy is another way of creating doubt. It’s another excuse not to commit and not take action.

It’s just a habit and that means you can change it

The simple answer is to pick a plan and stick to it. However, Nicky struggles with that because she says she has an indecisive personality. I suggest a more empowering way to think about it is that indecision isn’t a personality trait, but a habit. The good news there is that if it’s a habit, it’s just the way we’re used to thinking, but we can change it!

Being indecisive creates so much brain chatter and wastes so much energy. It gets exhausting. The solution is to give yourself a time limit—2 hours, 6 hours, 24 hours or even 48 hours—and stick to that deadline for making the decision. Then, trust yourself that you will make the best decision.

Remember, all strategies have pros and cons and they all work if you commit to them.

Give yourself your time line and then make a decision. Then also decide to stay committed to that strategy until you get to your goal. Once you’ve made the decision, be aware of your thoughts, and redirect them if they start down the ‘grass is greener’ path again.

For Nicky, it’s around about the 2 week mark that those critical and doubtful thoughts start to creep in. Pay attention to it, be aware of it, and remind yourself that it’s a habit of your mind. You can choose to think different thoughts.

It definitely takes practice

You have an array of choices of thoughts and feelings. You can choose to feel doubtful and critical, which is what Nicky’s habit is. Or, you can choose to feel proud and confident. It’s a new skill and it is going to take a lot of practice, but it is so worth it because it starts to become your new normal.

I also think there’s a strong hint of courage here because going after something that you’ve never been able to create before requires being courageous. It’s also a choice to just own it and feel confident about it. You already made that choice, so now have your own back on it.

Nicky makes a choice live on the call, and commits to doing it for 8 weeks. She’s going to keep me updated with her progress after 4 weeks and again after 8 weeks. Go Nicky!

If you would love to have a powerful, fun conversation like this, send me an email brenda@brendalomeli.com and let me know you want to be on the podcast for #askBrendaL

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